Back in the cocoon ? (Back in the cocoon)

I cant do it any more i need to accept the way things are in a terrible  person. I tried to change i really but i cant grasp that simple consept. I have love for people but i cant show or display what i feel. Everyone keep saying oh i cant believe what you say. Like my words are worthless fuck that my words the only thing i have in the long run. But it doesnt matter people say forrever n i believe it forever dont last that short tho. N on the hand not playing the victim i know exactly  people feel the way they do . I say things in i have to put it in action  i try forreal i do. Its not like im oblivious  to the fact of my wring doing. Its just  i know it would take me sone time to get to the that habit of things. N heres the confusing part when i act off emotions its wrong when i don't  its wrong damned if i do n damned if i dont i dont know how to love i have love n want  love but im not 100% sure n no woman going to teach me "you grown you better learn " the only thong i keep saying in the past realtionship  its :im wrong n i try
Thats all i can do
So im going to live in my shell its so o dont get hurt n so noone else gets  hurt
(Your welcome )