No k"new" friends hedonism Flow

I have no connection with none of my friends. Well let me reword I have less a conncetion with some of my friend when I figured out who I was I just realized when its a group of us we don't vibe right I mean we laugh but its about it I don't want to just do that anymore I want to elevate with someone art wise spiritually mentally but I cant with certain people so like a lot of people I just don't fit in and that's ok ill just be by myself more often and when I get too stuck in my head where no one can reach me that would be their fault n quite frankly I really don't care because its my life n I will never put anyone before me ever again


EVER AGAIN

Lonely

I dont know what to feel i love to be alone but when i get around others i laugh and try to be social but then i get ready to be alone again then when im alone i want company  i think i want a certain type of company maybe a hug or a kiss some love some feeling some  appreciation  but i guess it wont be given to me im slowly becomeing more into the cocoon only caring about making my self better




I WANT LOVE😔😔😔😔



No i want to leave .....

No i want new friends......
No i need  to be emotionless.......
No i need to leave

sasori

I feel I am a puppet like empty for some reason I don't really like this feeling like its a mixture I feel sad for some reason then again its not sadness Ill say lonely I can be alone I actually like being alone but its sad I hate when this weather hits because most times I wont have people to chill


emptiness
this carcass I resides in
gives me pleasure and pain
but its not who I really am its just fin
like shark at a distance being disgused by rain
can you see the truth or do you not want to
judge me by apprearce and get mistaken
darkness is the tentent in this shell who?
would ever leave me shaken
im black as my soul
I was made first so no god given
I have no control
so im done with living




Im not committing suicide im just accepting death and waiting for it
why should I love love if love don't love me

back for a reason and then some

i never thought i would have to go back to blogging but since im single and have no one to talk to any social media outlet i guess ill vent on here i want to make my death the ultimate work of art no one can keep me here no child no partner no anything my art will be accepted and respected but it cant if im still alive the way i feel the only time im happy is if im thinking about ending it i don't know why i tried to fool myself by thinking i can be happy with a person this is made for me by no means i guess i have to accept that fact by the time someone would read this voluntary  i would be long gone and then it would be rip and we love you but if that was shown when i was here it wouldn't have happened or people would bitch and moan about how they could have helped well i sent many signs and no one ever tried to do anything about it or the most likely situation they would just forget about until they see these multiple blogs stating numerous times that i need help but they never listen until its too late