back for a reason and then some

i never thought i would have to go back to blogging but since im single and have no one to talk to any social media outlet i guess ill vent on here i want to make my death the ultimate work of art no one can keep me here no child no partner no anything my art will be accepted and respected but it cant if im still alive the way i feel the only time im happy is if im thinking about ending it i don't know why i tried to fool myself by thinking i can be happy with a person this is made for me by no means i guess i have to accept that fact by the time someone would read this voluntary  i would be long gone and then it would be rip and we love you but if that was shown when i was here it wouldn't have happened or people would bitch and moan about how they could have helped well i sent many signs and no one ever tried to do anything about it or the most likely situation they would just forget about until they see these multiple blogs stating numerous times that i need help but they never listen until its too late