(Thank you. So it happened again. That dream where i saved the world. Now i could chalk this up to being a narcissist with a hero/savior complex. But no. This dream was way to vivid. However i cant remember it when i woke up. ) Damn ( i know. I remember knowing that fact that i wont be able to remember it since its the second time i had this dream. So i know the rules and whoever was giving me the plans knew that i knew because i tried to wake up midway to get a pen. But my Body was paralyzed) random guy used thunder wave. ( 👀 what's up with you today) im happy (oh yea i forgot give me a minute ill get to you) { and the title fits his situation too }( Thank you jimi. Back to my point i had it to save the world. I dont know if this is a sign that im on the right path. Or i lost my way . its just lately my intention been pure with alot especially with).......her. Play some music for my part ( what you want to hear?) Either walkin by thundercat or something old school with soul (so you play im so into you tho ) it fits right (that is true) anyway i had the greatest date. It was simple but exciting we went skating and a dinner ....something simple. But it was the feeling. I was skating. That was a fear of mine i told everyone and after 18 years i finnally went ( angel in disguise -brandy) ok but it felt too real most times i would be like "everyone is watching" "no i don't want to go ill chill " but i feel like i have to step my shit always around her like i have something to prove. But the beauty of it is ....i dont. She's so accepting on who i am. I feel like its not just tolerating me based on the fact im /was suicidal or depressed ( all that i can say - mjb) thank you but as i was saying she not with me because i have the qualities of a "good husband" its just me but this scares me as i write this because it might go away or might just be that way since we just met (calm down your panicking ) no!!!! what if everyone is right we get into a relationship and we fail ( then that will be the greatest fucking failure. look, you look at the past and the future which is good but heres some problems with that ) nothing really matters lauryn hill ( the past cause depression and the future causes anxiety. You worrying about what if and all that what happen to being "all in") i understand that.... ( how do she makes you feels ?) 😄😊😀😔😁😂😫😅😑😏 (ok...... I thought you was going to use words but emojis work.... I guess well ... That seems fairly positive) she makes me feels pleasant ...special .....worthwhile ....( Something to live for??? ) ......... (Then thats something to fight for. if someone make you feel like this , dont run out of fear it will leave, fight so it will stay. ) {Diary -alicia keys} thank you jimi im scared i will destroy her (what i said eariler about intentions, keep them pure and you should be fine. Which mean dont be afraid of the truth rather giving or accepting it. Just go with the flow ){whatever you want tony toni tone} (and do everything to your best abilities ) and that's what i feel with her.. to just do the best i can do .....i just want to make her happy ( well she told you {multiple times} that you make her happy just stop thinking so much thats my job. ) its hard when you see a glimpse of heaven in someone eyes
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(What ??)
{Since when do you say poetic words??? Thats my job!!}
lights flicker on and off as sit in a room
Inside this vacant, desolate spot is me and you.
As the lights shines i see beauty, when it fades
I hold my arms out so i can feel beauty
But as long as we're together, the lights in my chest remains on so you can see what i feel...
You
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And this is why im scared in the first place....
(Dont be its a good thing. You just not used to it)
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