The metaphor of a metamorphosis

Locking away your emotions until you feel the need to have is a starting to be a struggle and a blessing at the same time.  Don't get me wrong I know the disadvantage of using the mind too much and sometimes a situation calls for emotions but to me they are in the way. I'm way to sensitive to be in this world and keep my sanity. That's a good belief on why I feel like I was going insane so many years I would let someone either bully me into thinking how they did or just let someone ruin my self esteem. To be honest I believe it's just the lack of control that I don't like. I love being in control once I feel like I'm not I feel automatically inferior. It shouldn't be this way but it is shades of grey is hard for me to live in I can see it just hard to live in. I guess it's the gemini in me . In speaking of which I seen some card reading for gemini. Now the way I decipher things like that is to watch multiple people and see the common thread that link them all together. This month that thread was more of staying on the path your on and focus on it.  Last month was basically stick with it now it's more of you will see the fruits of your labor. Which is good news. Also intuition will be stronger (which it has been) and psychic powers s Will be more  powerful something I haven't tested out yet but wasn't this supposed to have a point ...........I guess not .