The packed bus became more packed as a second disabled person in a wheelchair made their way upon the bus. The woman a few seats looked like a girl I knew back in middle school. My crush in 4th grade to be exact. "Tamika ....Tamika....." I struggle to remember her last to confirm my suspicions. The man who was previously hitting on the woman who was sitting behind me walked up to her. With minimal effort, he got the number of my supposedly ex crush. It had to be easy for if that was my crush she let herself go. She looked sloppy, uncoordinated and lacking confidence. However I couldn't judge. Life fuck all of us up sooner or later. Its the price you pay for getting older. Almost as soon as he got the number ,he hoped off the back door. As if he had a mission and his mission was completed. I try to get back in to my book. However the woman next to me made it a challenge by continuing to look out the window which was in my direction. Which made my peripheral vision go crazy. Almost on a paranoid level. She started to talk to the couple in front of me who had their son with them. He looked about 3 and resembles both his parents. His high yellow mother and braces wearing father. The three adults discussed places to live. Maybe that's a conversation if should have listened to but me and my girlfriend don't have a child so help for us is not giving. Our help is just being with each other. We have to tag team life alone.
I take in information. This world is a big ball of information that is shared by conversations. In business they call this networking. We all share little bits of things we heard, read, seen, experience. I have learned that older folks are quick to dispense their knowledge. Its as if they have an obligation to share with younger people what they been through so we don t make the same mistakes. This is how I learned so much. Books helped. So did other forms of media. Movies. TV shows. Articles. etc. But just listening to the world helped in ways I couldn't imagine. Also with being an writer its perfect for dialog and storylines. This is why so many of my stories feel real being they probably are.
A big thing that cool about people watching is the fact I don't need that much to do just to go to a populated area and let the show begin. This could be a way for me to meet friends if I need to. Being this ghost who just watch is a comfort for me. It shows me i'm not the only one with issues but at the same time I don't have to think about mine. However like most good thing it must end and I have to rejoin society. Its literally sitting on a park bench with a heavy book bag and finally putting that bag down and resting. Looking at the watch periodically because sooner or later you have to pick up the bag again and continued on your walk. My bag was heavy, my shoulders ache and my back started cramping and my knees bucked.
I BROKE
Im now looking at the world pass while i'm on the ground. Its beautiful but I dint want to be here. I want to go home. I don't belong
and no.....I don't know what can get me off the ground.
