well that switched moods(yup)

Im not (the libray computer is pissing me off) its cool man but you know that's misplaced anger (no its perfectly placed I just have more for her ) not Harley (man the more I think about it ) yea you know that make sense (shes a bitch ) aye man (no anit no aye an I gave her anything she needed if she asked for it all she had to do is ask for it )I understand that brother( so what did I do wrong im tired of all these women and their  fucking feelings) im gonna be frank with you you could been a better friend (brother I was completely depressed I didn't want to talk to anyone why must I kill my depression for her )because that's whats friends do (only if you can be a friend back she physically saw I was in the dumps instead of reaching out a hand she said nothing but want me to do the same thing that's fucking selfish ) I want all to my self I swear(im serious she don't even see it like that WE ARE ARGUING ABOUT THE SAME THING WE DID IN A RELATIONSHIP ) brother calm down (no can you put this in a song (I can try )it needed to be in a song selfish ass fucking people ) no be direct (so says the bull who gives everyone an imaginary nickname ) I don't do it for any other but privacy reasons (hop out of your delousuion ) why don't you you mad right now go to sleep (if I could I would ) we have been mad tired (and we cant even rest but that's not a damn factor now is it ) not saying that (ok that she only know a damn portion of what we going through yet want to pass judgement like she earned a damn gavel) we don't need another black (we need something because im on the verge of snapping ) we think of something( you only have a few mins once we leave this place to do so otherwise its black and mild time )


fucking up my lungs again  I don't want to breath
I don't want to die but I do want to leave
my art is my legacy that's what I believe
but I know people got tricks up their sleeve


but wish a nigga would
wish a nigga would
wish a nigga would

So know i finally know

(It was me all along) i didn't know well (i mean we both talked about) we just was thinking too far (for no reason but thats us i think  too far)when the problem  is righy in our face (yup )


For those who didn't know i andre is the core jett is the shell  andre had to make jett jett evolves and andre into jett so its like making an identity  to evolve into. The body I guess me is a reaction to it all. With out themi wouldn't succeed and without me they wouldny its a dueling  duality that is completed with a trinity

YOU ARE A FAILURE 
I HATE YOU 
GET BETTER PLEASE

Martyr loser king

What is this ?

Its weird how kiss (kill innocent suicidal  savior) is very similar the powers that be wants to kill the ones who wants to save the world. (Die a hero or live long enough to become a villian) exactly. (Unless you stay righteous) right but the funny part is the ones who call you a villian is not the ones who won (history is written by the Victors) you just commin with all the quotes today (im inspired ) well we going to get to that can we finish first (goahead) anyway the ones who call you a villian is the ones you save. They might tear you do for you didn't  live up to their expectations of them. Ie obama mlk. I seen people tear down these men ignoreing what made them heros un the first because they didn't  have an all black agenda. Like they dont realise  that not everyone is "conscious " so to the non conscious  people like obama is a symbol of faith and hope that one they could be successful. Me personally, i never thought i would see a black president  and lo and behold  we have one. He might  did some underhanded  things (bombing innocents not talking about certain issues  in the black community) but he still did something alot more than the keyboard  warriors that just spread  hate and mlk same thing he was a powerful speaker or incited  alot of people who also did underhanded stuff  (friends with the 12families) but these men cant be crucified  for their flaws and sins by other flawed sinners. We need heros not just to save but  to be a lighthousesof hope a in the stormy weather of injustice and ignition  of the fire of inspiration . (Im a candle chop my neck a million times i still burn bright  and stand yo) 

Ok now go
(Im just glad to  be me )

I thought we wasnt going back

Fuck i thought so too but people man (are you choosing to or ) no not this time i tried  i get the usual either anger  (which is nomal ) is it i ask someone to  listen and what they do but sit up there and spaz but its either that or ignore  (also normal reaction) as fucking normal as it is i would like more of someone to fight to save me and you cant win that fight by using anger that why none of my best friends close friends know anything (is that best for you) yup i tried the openings up thing one it don't work but now ive leaned how mock n micmic emotion which is good i be around them and they  will never know (tell them  nothing because they dont care .....well what about this  blog)..........(......) hahahhaha you funny this blog would probably  be  seeen when im gone (probably) a big ass probably  (why not use the blog) for venting no because they might stumble across it i dont want that  (why you trying so hard to shut everyone out) because they shut me  out this conversation  is over

god complex part 2

God is an artist. Simple as that nothing else to be explain

(word ? nothing else to be explained you wait till another year rolls around and you give a sentence answer on how god is)

well it is just simple when you think about it. As i said before its all about perception. IN the beginning of the year (last year) yes last year thank you i was on a positivism kick.I believed that every one should be happy and positive and that other emotions are just distractions of true happiness. Nowisee the significance of emotions but because of this mindset i literally saw everything as a beautiful piece of art and to be honest i dont think i was too wrong. what is art but an object worth contemplated over. isn't everything worth contemplated over?we walk in this world and dont question anything just continuing the path we set on. rather its a career a passion  taking care of people etc we wake up and do what we got to do. but probably by the time we reach the bathroom we encountered a million things that could be considered art by that definition. How was those things made,who made them, how they there. we block these things out. most likely for out own good that way we wont lose our mind with an  thought overload. basically there is a process or method to do things especially when it comes to creating to say that the creator dont have a method of creating life or an art of creating life is naive. Another example what do you consider beautiful ? what makes it beautiful ? im pretty sure someone else can find it ugly a difference in perception makes opinions what are reviews of art but just an opinion from "professional " . These critics get paid hundreds of dollars for their opinion their opinions are not wrong or even right they are exactly what they are opinion however people make these people god among men. That thing that you thought of once you thought of a reason its beautiful congratulation you are an art critic. the point is not to see everything as beautiful but art. art is not always beautiful or even nice sometimes its ugly and gritty just like the truth that it most likely rooted from and whats more ugly than human nature. hey its the truth or is it just my opinion 

(That ending was art)

exactly other me exactly the point

(i get it everything is perception )

Right

Last day ...again

What people dont really understand i dont fear death fuck it i want it this is not a suicidal post just something to say if people dont qant to be in my life ive been down alome i will rise the same another thing i was thinking we are all creators  and destroyers just because you create dont meak everything you create is gonna be perfect and everything you destroy is gonna be needed to be destroyed just somethi g to think about

Bf material

When I was younger my biggest  flaw was that I was husband  material  and no body wanted a husband  so why is it that i get older and now only a side nigga for a lot of people they want the sex or the emotions or the affection  but they don't want me fully they dont understand  how this affects me i feel like me being me pushes  them and thats fucked up because  im a pretty good person for the most just noone wants to claim i would claim myself n say i dont need anyone but right now im weak and vaulnerbable and who wouldn't want to have a person to love in their Corner i want that .....i want it badly 😔😔😔

Realizations

I'm gonna be an angry person
I'm not over my grandfather's death ill go in to details about  bothb

I have so much to say but they don't keepme logged in

As watching love Jones my favorite movie I think about Hinata and Harley quinn I really don't like Harley for some reason lately she's been on my mind I hate that fact I thought it was over I was done with her and I moved on I really don't want that Hinata on the other. Hand is on a different level I want the best for her even if its not with me I hope it could be but I'm not going to rush it I like being single I love being alone I think that's why me and the minion didn't work out because she wanted a lot of my time and my time I'm very selfish with . For the simple fact I wasted so much of it on other people wants and desires and I need to focus on me I have bounced from relationships for years ever since I started dating n I feel like I need to put that same attention on me.i don't know what tomorrow might bring so for now I'm detached from everything and everyone I can die and be happy and I can live and be happy I really don't have a real feeling because I know pain will come n order to deal with pain is to not run or just face it head on but stand your ground and keep pushing.i wrote a lil manifesto

There is no peace no hope only thing  that  remains is pain. You squabble  over frivolous  things such as money, respect  and power. I on the hand live for peace. However being demonized over and over again gets to be a toll on my soul that i can no longer withstand. I accept it. I am  a demon, i am satan. I no longer want happiness or even hatred. All i want is a  place where i can live in harmony. Even so humans will not see my vision of this perfect world. They will Continue to lie, cheat and cause destruction  to everyone  who dare to cross their  path. Humans are  a cancer that need to be eradicate in  order  them and this world be free. For months I've  walked the line of balance that resides in most people and during  my journey  i only felt pain. So i made the conclusion life is not love. Life is only pain.

As you can see someone have upset I don't like being upset so I let them go I will find happiness one day if I'm dead or alive that's up to the universe to decide

Ever since ive started meditating  due to hinata  (so you going with that name ) yeah  it fits but ive been seeing how i much im child at heart its a power of youth people ignore. Children are worry free carefree and carefree they not like us adults we get consumed by fear we scared   continue y/n