freshcuts (Raw Emotions)

im not gonna really correct anything i say wrong when i write this. just enough to be understood im tired of crying. I've added god in my life ive thought positive i started to open up (and was swiftly reminded why closed up in the first place.) I've wrote songs , I've smiled more i stayed away from liquor. i even had the comfort I begged for. what ruined it was the fact that it's temporary but even life is temporary (so just enjoy.....,) No fuck that why must it be temporary why can't it be forever (maybe you are a brat😒) et tu ? (,I have to keep it real) anyway isolation unlike alot of people kinda makes me feel better. And while I appreciate my friends to turn being social on and off is not just confusing it's irritating (It needs to be.....) Shut up because you are sleep half the damn time leaving me out there to do the talking I say something stupid n get left to be embarrassed.....................\

............(feel better ) ........kinda not really 100 tho. To be honest I just want to rap (smoking on double mint to get double the pleasure ,whether, or not its consider clever/ to never not get better/ you know your passion never/ leave you out to dry just believe your eye)  thank you I learned the funniest thing about DETERMINATION. it pushes you thought its the focus I mentioned before. you would think that ok since he got that he would be fine. nope because I cant be stuck on one goal I have too many things to focus on at once. I really  cant live in the moment I have to be moving, multi tasking killing two birds with one stone. I was got some wins out on injustice against my sensai of gaming. it happen because I didn't accept defeat even if it was close. I envisioned word like  DETEREMINATION, HOPE,WILL, CONFINDENCE. ...................................(you know its funny just earlier we was the discussing the problem we face with : the knowledge that ultimately nothing I do matter im a speck of dust on an old planet.)Hope is pointless with each breath we take we get closer to death your life wont matter if you are dead. What's the point of trying to enjoying your life if its gonna end and as stated before im begging it to end(......and the ability to make a purpose ) yea and.....(im just saying you pushed through and fought hard on a game when it depended on because you wanted to win. why not do it in real life have that same mindset let me set a fire for you to use)yea that was the plan before but when you get in control you become unstable .....I wont let you ruin us again.....(well try to keep me from being unstable ...........are you shutting me out ????) this is getting too meta ( no don't run from the question J3tt ....are you shutting me out?) its for our own good (whoever reading this is gonna think your crazy.......just know while you might like being cold and analytical....people don't love that side of you ) well they have to learn how to deal (then how can I be accepted if you don't show me ) the ones who will see youwill be the special ones ...you saw what happened with ....her (your hurt .....you know your hurting ....and you choose not to help your self ....literally you was told before you are always in your own way )








...........

the darkness cuts deep
I like the pain
I can accept it
being alone with myself is fine
but what if you all alone




without your self