Writing.....litterally what i was writing

The worst part about self destructive habits are they are constantly working against you which means if took care of in a timely fashion they could turn volatile and explosive.I personally have 3 in a physical sense. Cutting ,excessive smoking and drinking. The urges to do so grows . Some days the control is real good others....... Its hard to get off your mind. Its like hearing over and over again "Do it DO IT" not just from your mind but your body. Another self destructive habit i have is isolation of everyone close to me. As explained in my song "Almighty Push "its best to hold all the feelings inside.Its terribly difficult to escape your mind. i was getting so good at it before it has to be a variable that changed. Maybe its fact that now i dont listen to music more. However this brings up another  topic.Why do people still believe depression is a choice we believe in 2018 that orientation is a choice but an actual neurological disorder is told to "just get over it". Like its just a bad mood and yes in this day and age things are often exaggerated so to some people a bad mood They would consider depression.This is detrimental to people who actually do have depression. It make people believe its just that easy to get over when that is furthest from the truth. Its is a constant battle that at times seem unbeatable.Its that nagging friend that comes over uninvited , eat all your food and leave a mess all over your house. Your left starving empty and have to clean up your house by yourself. Its that splinter inside your mind that if you mess with it will only get worse so you take the discomfort because you dont want the pain to worsen. Simply put its a constant pain in the ass