Now i know the quote is supposed to represent betrayal n i feel like that fits forreal . March is a big birthday month for me a lot of. Important people birthday is this month so it would be only fitting being the person that i am to accommodate for it.
...........i couldnt
And to be honest it wasnt my fault with money issues and psychological dramas i failed. I dropped the ball. Which in turn made me more likely to dwell on the fact that i did fail which made things even worst. By the middle of this month alone i have cut myself, had a panic attack, smoked my self stupid even picking up the cigarette habit i put down. Most of all i do what i normally do when im stress i withdraw .Holding everything in until i explode that was the only non immediate self destructive behavior i can display and with a significant other its a big problem especially when communication is not a strong point . which is crazy i can talk i just cant communicate i dont trust many people with my feelings or emotion. "They would crush it sooner or later" i would always think. But it wasn't all bad i guess i do have a permanent job now. I do work full time but full time is also in the way of what i want tobdo but i need money to do what i want. Dilemma dilemma...........
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