Od/ rip

At one point of my life , I wanted to die of an overdose. All my idols did and I had a fascination to drugs culture. That freeing feeling of being in a different state of mind while doing a bunch of reckless activities. I guess it's the feeling of not being restrained by what happens next and live in the moment was the true joy. If you want to have sex with multiple people and not care, you can. If you want to get into a fight and beat someone up , you can. In my head at the time this is freedom. Not being in constant control of what's happening and let it happen. However time waits for no man as musiq taught me.  So I grew up and the desired to do countless drugs and trying different liquors waned in me. So I started to focus on the future and less on what could been. That allure of that lifestyle still seems very excited and very attractive.

After writing  this post I learned that Mac miller have passed .......due to a overdose. Now as common as things like this are now let me explain this tragedy and why it affected me. Me and Mac are both the same age it's always mind boggling to see someone your age die especially by overdose. It's that feeling that it could happen to mee. Next I was a fan of his music. His sound was vulnerable no matter how much it was nasty , dark,  happy,  sad, melancholy or whatever it was it was honest. In hip hop honesty is rare to come across. Looking over interviews with him or other artists they all say the same thing Mac was a genuine good person who was just battling demons. So hearing he died was a blow. Like that could have been me if we started at the same time which was supposed to be the time to start. Besides my narcissistic mindset , we really lost a great and impactful artist I just wish he actually knew how he impacted people then it hit me ................











R
I
P

Malcolm James McCormick