Isolation vs inclusion

 heAt peak isolation. I want everyone to fucking die. Yup even you. yup espealially me. yup even babies. I just look and see all it's flaws all the corruption that plaguing this world. All the sin,hate, negativity and purposeless pain that people spread is disgusting. It makes me sick people taking their personal issues and contaiminate  the rest of the planet with that virus. And like a wildfire it grows and if you dare try to put out that fire you will be burned if not killed for trying to stop it. Children don't need to be in this world. They don't need their innocence snatched away. You know what makes it worst now a days everyone is a judge and don't even know the power of their words. Letting slander and ignorance fill the air. I dispise ignorance. More than anything because I personally believe that understanding someone makes you empathize with that person and its a step closer to peace. But no one wants peace they all want drama. it's entertaining to these damn creatures. They feed off of conflict. Especially ones with no resolutions that's a damn buffet. And do you think I deserve to live hell no I've been trying get rid of myself for the longest. I'm flawed just like the others and deserve to be eliminated I will bring nothing good to a new world. If I had the powers to do it I would in a minute and not even care. Everyone have sinned and done wrong.

Can i just admit, me without sleep is psycho.i was talking total annihilation of a planet because of something i felt :isolation. Me personally i had this  thought belief or theory that its me against the world. I always felt that if i came into this world i will leave out the same way. The less help I will have to receive from people the less I have to care about them. That way I can say I don't owe you anything because I didn't ask for anything I got everything on my own. Sadly this way of thinking while in one sense can build up a sense of pride it also makes a barrier between me and everyone who I want to be close to. its a selfish agenda that hinders growth and it all because i got burned by people in the past. I try not to be so enclosed with myself i really do. I don't think a person who doesn't want to be would have multiple forms of outlets that would tell how he feels. however, at the same time its nothing new to be isolated every time I try to be inclusive rather with my feelings or anything else ill get misunderstood and after years of that and not being able to express myself it becomes an issue when I consistently get that I don't know face from people its annoying and it hurts. make no mistake about it i am a very sensitive person. often people forget due to my jokey nature or cold-hearted tendencies deep down inside I'm very very sensitive and being misunderstood make me become insensitive something that goes against my creed and it causes problems for me. Also and this may be an introvert problem, it's a real annoyance when people knock you out of your world. Being a writer where i have to make worlds does not help. It makes being close to people and social so hard because every now again I have my own thought processes and when interrupted I get ticked off. it could be a fear of losing control. Ever since I gained my life back I didn't want to lose it and I have a big fear that if I don't have a handle on certain things I will lose control. Feelings are included so when you become inclusive and let people in you lose that control. because you have to let things flow between the two of you that is difficult to do but not impossible.