Just smile and wave

in my last post, i talked about controlling my emotions and how i will learn to keep them in only letting them out on here. Well, one feeling i have a feeling a lot lately is a loser. i feel like i have to make up for lost time. and try to do more my issue is the fact i try to compare myself to others when i dont need to. i have my own lane for a reason i just have to stick to it and alot of things come in between me and my goal. Some are a detriment the others are lessons but i shouldn't let obstacles stop me. This goes to my significant other.

"oh so we finally reached that part of the relationship"

what do you mean

"you know what i mean? the part of the relationship where communication becomes increasingly difficult so instead of keep fighting for something to say you just hold it in and lash it out on yourself or on here .......actually im surprised it lasted this long "

you dont understand this one its more than me having mental illness. One of my biggest annoyances is not being heard or having my words be undermined and not respected. In my world its the biggest crime you can commit because no matter how stupid or how much i disagree i respect the words that people say i listen to try to understand that is the only thing i expect back n return. However, with this relationship, my words are not only forgotten but trampled over misunderstood.

"so that's why you lash out on here"

basically


"............you ran out of things to say "

no but its this damn ASMR  video its so intriguing

"thats seems to be something to make you happy "
yea for now its the little things