Safest space

This is the only safe space I can go to.

No one looks for me here.

I just want to be left alone. 

I want to vent but I'm tired of bothering people or dealing with people other emotions or just dealing with me when they have time.

Like I'm a child.

I fought this all just to not to feel like a child.

I work non stop 

I add bills on myself

I accept responsibility like a bad sweater on Christmas and wear that motherfucker as fashionable as possible.

I fix my mental health

....or try to 

I keep in contact with people. 

I make sure I'm good appearance wise. 

I try to control emotion 

Just to show my need to be an adult 

So I can be respected and yet....

I don't .....

Maybe I wasn't ready ......

But if not now then when

I'm already 26

Is it my fault ?

Is it my overbearing mother's?

My disconnected Father's?

No

It's mine.

Why because I'm an adult.....

And everything I do now is all my fault...

Success or failure 

Its all on me.....

I seek independence and found isolation......

I need help...but I was taught survival 

Not to ask for help

They say anger comes from the feeling of being powerless

If you had power you can change what makes you angry

"

To be black and conscious in America is to be in a constant state of rage."

So I'm double angry because I don't feel like I'm ever going to have power.


Why??

I'm always in a state of feeling like survival have to be nearby ......

I have fear an ongoing one that I'm in danger

Not by a person


....still want to not be here


But by failing not just my sel F

But


Everyone.....

But f.a.c.ebok

Can't b shown this

They need 😂😊😍😂😁😆🤣😎🙂😚🤗
Neva ☹️😔😒🤔n



This is my safe space because no matter what i never feel safe


But at least I can control this

Atleastfornow